To My Single Girlfriends

I'm going to be a bit transparent with you all and share some things that the Lord has recently been showing me. I do this not because I want my life to be an open book, but because so often I have found that when I feel prompted to open my heart a little and share with those around me, many times someone nearby is struggling with the same thing and they needed to know that they are not alone in it.

I feel compelled to write this to you as a single person myself because so many times hearing it from a married person is a more painful reminder of what I/we don't have. I'm sure some of you out there find yourselves where so often I've been of, "Ok, yeah thanks for the encouragement, Mr. or Mrs. I got married at 19/20 and have no idea what being single really feels like. Sure, God will send someone... blah blah blah" while on the outside you're smiling saying, "Oh, thank you for the encouragement! God is good, isn't he???" Or, it could be that I'm the only person out there that has ever felt this way, however, I highly doubt it.

My attitude landed me in a very interesting position in life. From the time I was little I KNEW I was going to get married and have a house full of kids and my life was going to be a picture perfect storybook of romance, family moments, etc. Funny little thing about God...ours plans so often don't match his. Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD." So, I find myself sitting here with my 27th birthday literally days away and no one knocking on my door. Now, let me say that this is in no way a pity party. Not too long ago it was a daily pity party but as I said in my previous post the Lord has done a HUGE work in my heart and not only changed my attitude but has revealed some well meant but very misguided ideals I developed growing up that I'd like to share with you because just maybe you feel the same way.

#1 on the list: A woman's highest calling in life is to be a wife and mom. I get what that means. I truly do and to all you wives and mom's you have my 115% backing. YOU GO! You have one of the hardest jobs I know of. You're burnt out, tired, pouring your lives into little ones 24/7, you have husbands to take care of and provide a happy home for and you probably have little if any time for YOU. BUT as a single woman, this thought has left me feeling the bitterness of being empty. I don't have a husband which means I don't even have a shot at kids which means as a woman, I'VE FAILED. Ok, stop right there! The Lord has a perfect plan for my life and yours. Whatever his perfect plan is...IS His highest calling for us! He may very well have every intention of keeping me single and using me in ways that being married would never allow for. This realization has brought so much peace and even joy in my singleness. It's set my feet on a path of discovering His will for me.

To continue that thought...I've many times in life found myself making or not making decisions based on the very thing I don't even have. The constant thought of...but if I got married and had a family....so I should really do....this has lead me to an apathetic view of life. I've found myself not buying the furniture I really like or even need, not buying the clothes I needed for my job, or even going the places I want to because "some day it's going to change and I won't even need to wear a suit anymore and he'll want to help pick out our things and we could go there, together!"

My friends, let go and let God! I've come to realize that while the Bible is filled with promises, being married and having children is not one of them. He does promise that if we will Draw near to him, he'll draw near to us. When we're walking that closely with the Lord then his desires and plans become ours and He is able to work his perfect will for us! What could be more fulfilling than a closeness with God? Psalm 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." (again, this whole paragraph is something I've learned from God through others but found it so fitting that it's well worth the share)

I still don't know how he's going to use me, but I'm surrendering it all to Him. For the first time in my life I've come to a place where I really don't have two different 5 years plans. One for IF I get married and one for if I stay single. I've only got one and right now it's only got 3 years worth of goals on it...as I go, some of those things may change, but I can assure you of this, I will be constant in seeking God's true will in each of them and I am excited to see where He's going to take me!