One Month Later
It has been one month since my last day of work at the firm. I can't tell you the freedom I have felt in knowing I don't have to sit in traffic anymore. I didn't even realize the amount of stress that was on my life till it was removed. All I can say is WHEW! I'm glad that chapter is closed.
Resting - Now as for the next chapter in my life..well, that's an interesting story. Several people had suggested I take a break and rest. ME??? Ducks in a row little ME?!?! REST?? What in the world does that word even mean? And so I attempted to take their advice. In the first week I had scrubbed my house from top to bottom, painted, run errands and tried to catch up on life as though I only had a week off from work. Then it hit me, Oh yeah! I really don't have have a job. So, I rested. I didn't set my alarm. I slept in. I felt guilty. I felt refreshed. I felt happy. I felt at peace. Hmmm, maybe all those people were onto something. I haven't felt this rested in years! I feel healthier, I'm exercising again and life as a whole has much more peace in it. And two weeks later I returned to waking up at 6:45am, walking the dog with my husband and keeping a routine so that when I go back to work my body won't be in shock.
Growing Pains - and as in every stage of life, God has a plan for growth. Mine was overcoming pride, learning to trust, patience and faith. Yeah, it's been an interesting month. First, I was horrified to become that stay at home wife. Are you kidding me! I grew up in a very traditional home with a homemaker who did a fantastic job, but I kind of don't exactly fit that mold. I'm not the girl who is content that my house chores are done so now I can relax and enjoy life. I feel GUILTY when that happens. My husband works incredibly hard and I am so proud of him. He has been so gracious to let me quit and rest and I don't ever want to take that for granted. I know I would feel differently if I was in this situation having children...I have no doubt stay at home MOMS are swamped with work, but stay at home wives? Once my house is clean...it stays that way. Dinner for two takes about 3o min. There is only so much laundry that 2 people can generate. There is no need for me to do this long term.
Secondly, Trust. Gah! So, I have this incredible husband who is a good provider...but I'm new at this wife thing and letting someone else be my provider. I've been on my own for so long depending on only me that it was difficult for me to let go and let God and my husband provide. But a month later...I am content in that too. Boy was that a struggle at first. I felt so vulnerable. Not that I wouldn't be taken care of, but that for the first time in years, I had to surrender my self dependence. Wow! It's been a good lesson and I LOVE watching my husband taking care of me. Lastly, Faith. Need I expound much on this one? God has this in his control. He has a job for me on his timetable. He won't come too early, but He will certainly never be too late. Wait for it. Be content where He has planted you. I'm getting there. =)
What Do People Think of Me??? - .....And so I began to struggle. "Oh great! People are going to think I got married and mooched off my husband by quitting my job." Yeah, that had to be my self dependence kicking in again. But, Shaun and I had zero doubt that we were exactly where God wants us. It's really odd that I would struggle with this, because long ago I gave up caring what people thought about me and just lived my life knowing I was walking in step with God. Guess I didn't quite have that lesson nailed down like I thought.
Lessons in Being a Better Wife - yeah, so again with this stay at home thing....I've come to realize in many painful growing moments that being alone all day leads to me thinking about me first. As soon as Shaun comes home I want to dump all those things on him that I didn't get to tell anyone all day long. Leading to me forgetting that he just might want to be asked about his day and have someone listen to him. *sigh* Yeah, I'm learning and I'm so grateful for his graciousness and love. He smiles and listens.
I Really Want a Job - it has been a fantastic month! I am on top of life again. I'm happy, but I am SO BORED! Me, the people person, the person that thrives on serving, listening and helping is at home all day with only a dog and day time tv which is mostly just to keep noise in the house so I don't feel as lonely as I am. I need a job ASAP for my own sanity's sake.
Volunteering - since I am unemployed, bored and lonely, I've taken up volunteering at my church. I volunteer on Tuesday and Thursday of every week in the K-5th grade department at my church. We see about 2,000 kids in that age range come through our campus every week and our job is to clean the rooms, sort curriculum and prep craft supplies each week. Man is it a chore! I will never take craft supplies and clean Sunday School rooms for granted again. It has been such a blessing to have something to do and God has certainly placed a wonderful group of women in my life who have been a blessing already!
Possible Calling? - and in all of this time of waiting and praying, I have felt God tugging at my heartstrings to work for Him! I went from not sure that I wanted to be in ministry to longing to be in it. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me next! I'm waiting and ready! So, God, show me your plan!
Job Hunting Begins - My month of rest is up and I am on the hunt. I've had 8 interviews for the women's ministry at my church. The door closed, the door reopened, the door is....I'm not sure at the moment, I have a followup conversation with them late next week. God does though and I am praying for His timing and will in this too. In the meanwhile, in the waiting, I am also hunting for other ministries to possibly apply to. We will see.
It's been one incredible month! I can't wait to see what this next month will hold.
Resting - Now as for the next chapter in my life..well, that's an interesting story. Several people had suggested I take a break and rest. ME??? Ducks in a row little ME?!?! REST?? What in the world does that word even mean? And so I attempted to take their advice. In the first week I had scrubbed my house from top to bottom, painted, run errands and tried to catch up on life as though I only had a week off from work. Then it hit me, Oh yeah! I really don't have have a job. So, I rested. I didn't set my alarm. I slept in. I felt guilty. I felt refreshed. I felt happy. I felt at peace. Hmmm, maybe all those people were onto something. I haven't felt this rested in years! I feel healthier, I'm exercising again and life as a whole has much more peace in it. And two weeks later I returned to waking up at 6:45am, walking the dog with my husband and keeping a routine so that when I go back to work my body won't be in shock.
Growing Pains - and as in every stage of life, God has a plan for growth. Mine was overcoming pride, learning to trust, patience and faith. Yeah, it's been an interesting month. First, I was horrified to become that stay at home wife. Are you kidding me! I grew up in a very traditional home with a homemaker who did a fantastic job, but I kind of don't exactly fit that mold. I'm not the girl who is content that my house chores are done so now I can relax and enjoy life. I feel GUILTY when that happens. My husband works incredibly hard and I am so proud of him. He has been so gracious to let me quit and rest and I don't ever want to take that for granted. I know I would feel differently if I was in this situation having children...I have no doubt stay at home MOMS are swamped with work, but stay at home wives? Once my house is clean...it stays that way. Dinner for two takes about 3o min. There is only so much laundry that 2 people can generate. There is no need for me to do this long term.
Secondly, Trust. Gah! So, I have this incredible husband who is a good provider...but I'm new at this wife thing and letting someone else be my provider. I've been on my own for so long depending on only me that it was difficult for me to let go and let God and my husband provide. But a month later...I am content in that too. Boy was that a struggle at first. I felt so vulnerable. Not that I wouldn't be taken care of, but that for the first time in years, I had to surrender my self dependence. Wow! It's been a good lesson and I LOVE watching my husband taking care of me. Lastly, Faith. Need I expound much on this one? God has this in his control. He has a job for me on his timetable. He won't come too early, but He will certainly never be too late. Wait for it. Be content where He has planted you. I'm getting there. =)
What Do People Think of Me??? - .....And so I began to struggle. "Oh great! People are going to think I got married and mooched off my husband by quitting my job." Yeah, that had to be my self dependence kicking in again. But, Shaun and I had zero doubt that we were exactly where God wants us. It's really odd that I would struggle with this, because long ago I gave up caring what people thought about me and just lived my life knowing I was walking in step with God. Guess I didn't quite have that lesson nailed down like I thought.
Lessons in Being a Better Wife - yeah, so again with this stay at home thing....I've come to realize in many painful growing moments that being alone all day leads to me thinking about me first. As soon as Shaun comes home I want to dump all those things on him that I didn't get to tell anyone all day long. Leading to me forgetting that he just might want to be asked about his day and have someone listen to him. *sigh* Yeah, I'm learning and I'm so grateful for his graciousness and love. He smiles and listens.
I Really Want a Job - it has been a fantastic month! I am on top of life again. I'm happy, but I am SO BORED! Me, the people person, the person that thrives on serving, listening and helping is at home all day with only a dog and day time tv which is mostly just to keep noise in the house so I don't feel as lonely as I am. I need a job ASAP for my own sanity's sake.
Volunteering - since I am unemployed, bored and lonely, I've taken up volunteering at my church. I volunteer on Tuesday and Thursday of every week in the K-5th grade department at my church. We see about 2,000 kids in that age range come through our campus every week and our job is to clean the rooms, sort curriculum and prep craft supplies each week. Man is it a chore! I will never take craft supplies and clean Sunday School rooms for granted again. It has been such a blessing to have something to do and God has certainly placed a wonderful group of women in my life who have been a blessing already!
Possible Calling? - and in all of this time of waiting and praying, I have felt God tugging at my heartstrings to work for Him! I went from not sure that I wanted to be in ministry to longing to be in it. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me next! I'm waiting and ready! So, God, show me your plan!
Job Hunting Begins - My month of rest is up and I am on the hunt. I've had 8 interviews for the women's ministry at my church. The door closed, the door reopened, the door is....I'm not sure at the moment, I have a followup conversation with them late next week. God does though and I am praying for His timing and will in this too. In the meanwhile, in the waiting, I am also hunting for other ministries to possibly apply to. We will see.
It's been one incredible month! I can't wait to see what this next month will hold.
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