What I've Learned in the Last Year...
My baby girl is almost ONE! It's almost hard to even write those words. In some ways this last year has flown - actually, in most ways it has. Someone once told me, "The days are long, but the years are short." Boy were they ever right. I get teary eyed thinking about just how short this first year has felt. I wish time could pause just a little longer or maybe those years drag out just a little more.
Lately, as I've been watching my big girl crawling, sitting up, clapping her hands, reaching, grabbing, sharing her cookies with the dog, playing peek-a-boo and learning to stand, I've been doing a lot of reflecting over this last year and all the things that I've learned so far...Thought I'd take a few moments to share some of that with whoever might be reading this.
3:00 a.m. - is something to treasure. Sure, it makes for some LONG, exhausting days, but that time is so precious and really those days of being up at night don't last so long when you're looking at time from the backside. There is something so incredibly precious about a little hungry, scared or sick baby curling up in your arms, nestling her head to your chest and falling peacefully back to sleep. Just knowing that she feels that secure in my arms makes me melt and want to stay with her all night. I really thought I'd dread those 3am wake up calls, but in my Mommy book, they are some of the most tender moments I have shared with her.
Winter Days - at home are long and quiet and a little lonely if you're a social butterfly like me. But I have a little playmate who won't always want to sit on the floor with me and play. One day really soon, she's going to be more interested in playing with the kids outside after school than playing with me. So for now, I'm learning to just enjoy these long days of babbling at simple things and I am trying to make sure I soak them up!
Relationship - it starts now! I know how close I imagine myself with Charlotte when she's a teenager and an adult and it has recently hit me, that we don't just happen into that kind of relationship. It is carefully crafted and immeasurable energy must be poured into it, constantly with no letting up. That kind of effort starts right now. I have a baby who is very content to play alone (thankfully!) but that also means that it is easy to get busy around the house and a whole to day pass without having spent a significant amount of one on one time with her. Recently it hit me that if I wait until she is old enough to talk to me and really interact to start having significant quality time with her, then I'm already behind on having the kind of relationship I want. Relationship starts now...when she is too little to say words or even understand mine, when all we will do is play peek-a-boo for the 100th time and read the same story for the 3rd time in a row.
People - Will say things that are well meant but completely inappropriate. I've been told I "will hate my daughter from the time she is 10 until she is married", I've been asked a hundred times by strangers "what happened to her face?!?" (talking about her birthmark) I've been given advice that I never sought out. It's really irritating. Postpartum hormones make comments like that land in a really bad place. Do your best to ignore them. Ignore all of them, but be gracious while you do and then let it go. Oh do be gracious - this is hard and sometimes almost impossible (especially for me), but let your words be seasoned with grace - always. Your hormones are not responsible for your actions - YOU are!
Marriage - how in the world can such a beautiful, demanding gift of a baby bring so much tension into a marriage? It's something no one ever tells you, but if you ask your friends who are humble enough to admit it, they'll all tell you that kids make marriage harder. This was true for us. Thank God we've worked past it for the most part. Some days we're still working on communicating better and being more patient with each other. The biggest take away for me, as we add to our family is that we can NOT lose sight of each other. This requires date nights away from baby, time alone for just the two of us, turning the monitor OFF, it may even require over night stay without the baby just so you can reconnect. DO IT! Yes, it hurts to leave your little one, but a crappy marriage will hurt much worse later on. Be intentional and remember your spouse was part of your life BEFORE your baby was. He needs you too!
Smiles & Kisses - the first time she looks at you and gives you that big, wide open, slobbery mouth kiss will MELT YOUR HEART and you will never be the same. She has learned to express love and that alone is enough "pay" for all of her demands. Her sweet baby smiles and then her intent stare down of your lips as she literally falls onto your face to "kiss" you is the best feeling in the whole world. Cherish it for one day soon her kisses will be quick and no longer intended for your lips.
Prayer Time - changes from God please do _____ and please help ______, to pouring out your heart over your little one's future. We pray every day that she will love God, respect people, respect herself, have a heart of compassion, be quick to forgive, to be filled with grace and gracious words, to be a delight and a good friend, to have a desire for wisdom - to not just do what is right in life, but to do the wise thing. What we desire for her life and pray for has shown me so many areas to work on in my own. Kids do that for you, they make you realize just how flawed you really are. In order for her to learn, we have to be the example. I'm working on many things right now so that one day my actions will speak louder to her than my words.
Milestones - we all know that all babies learn to eat solids, drink from a sippy, clap their hands and crawl - but when YOUR baby does it, you will celebrate it as though no one else in the world has ever done this before. It will be magic, you'll race to video it and coax her to do it again and again until she is worn out.
ME time - dying to myself post baby was the hardest part of all of it. It wasn't the stress on my marriage, or the 3 am wake up calls, the 10th dirty diaper of the day...it was the lack of time for ME! I just wanted to go get a coffee or a manicure by myself- but I couldn't. It took me a good 6 months to die to myself and fully embrace that I will no longer be able to attend every party and social gathering, run out for a last minute girls night out or drop everything and go to a movie with my husband at 9pm. Life has changed and I've finally learned...it's for the better. All of that said though, I still need some "me time" here and there. I'm a better wife and Mom when I get to have that. It's just not as much as it was before I had a baby and honestly that is perfectly okay.
Nurturing - that sweet little one will awaken the most beautiful of feelings in your soul. There are no words to describe its beauty. You want to care for and nurture that little one. Holding, loving, hugging her and caressing her head are moments you live for every day. I can't wait for her to wake up each morning and almost every night I can't help but scoop her little sleeping self out of her bed for one last embrace before I head off to bed. Also, along with the birth of nurturing there's a new beast called "Mama Bear" that is born inside of you and everyone - and I do mean ever single last person on the planet - had better not misstep when it comes to your baby. You will protect at all cost.
You know you're a Mom when - you stumble over toys on your bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Your purse has more baby stuff in it than anything else. Your baby is down for her nap, you turn on the TV while you're folding laundry and it hits you 10 minutes later that you've been mindlessly watching PBS Kids.
Yep, my life looks totally different now than it did a year ago and I've learned so much. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.
Lately, as I've been watching my big girl crawling, sitting up, clapping her hands, reaching, grabbing, sharing her cookies with the dog, playing peek-a-boo and learning to stand, I've been doing a lot of reflecting over this last year and all the things that I've learned so far...Thought I'd take a few moments to share some of that with whoever might be reading this.
3:00 a.m. - is something to treasure. Sure, it makes for some LONG, exhausting days, but that time is so precious and really those days of being up at night don't last so long when you're looking at time from the backside. There is something so incredibly precious about a little hungry, scared or sick baby curling up in your arms, nestling her head to your chest and falling peacefully back to sleep. Just knowing that she feels that secure in my arms makes me melt and want to stay with her all night. I really thought I'd dread those 3am wake up calls, but in my Mommy book, they are some of the most tender moments I have shared with her.
Winter Days - at home are long and quiet and a little lonely if you're a social butterfly like me. But I have a little playmate who won't always want to sit on the floor with me and play. One day really soon, she's going to be more interested in playing with the kids outside after school than playing with me. So for now, I'm learning to just enjoy these long days of babbling at simple things and I am trying to make sure I soak them up!
Relationship - it starts now! I know how close I imagine myself with Charlotte when she's a teenager and an adult and it has recently hit me, that we don't just happen into that kind of relationship. It is carefully crafted and immeasurable energy must be poured into it, constantly with no letting up. That kind of effort starts right now. I have a baby who is very content to play alone (thankfully!) but that also means that it is easy to get busy around the house and a whole to day pass without having spent a significant amount of one on one time with her. Recently it hit me that if I wait until she is old enough to talk to me and really interact to start having significant quality time with her, then I'm already behind on having the kind of relationship I want. Relationship starts now...when she is too little to say words or even understand mine, when all we will do is play peek-a-boo for the 100th time and read the same story for the 3rd time in a row.
People - Will say things that are well meant but completely inappropriate. I've been told I "will hate my daughter from the time she is 10 until she is married", I've been asked a hundred times by strangers "what happened to her face?!?" (talking about her birthmark) I've been given advice that I never sought out. It's really irritating. Postpartum hormones make comments like that land in a really bad place. Do your best to ignore them. Ignore all of them, but be gracious while you do and then let it go. Oh do be gracious - this is hard and sometimes almost impossible (especially for me), but let your words be seasoned with grace - always. Your hormones are not responsible for your actions - YOU are!
Marriage - how in the world can such a beautiful, demanding gift of a baby bring so much tension into a marriage? It's something no one ever tells you, but if you ask your friends who are humble enough to admit it, they'll all tell you that kids make marriage harder. This was true for us. Thank God we've worked past it for the most part. Some days we're still working on communicating better and being more patient with each other. The biggest take away for me, as we add to our family is that we can NOT lose sight of each other. This requires date nights away from baby, time alone for just the two of us, turning the monitor OFF, it may even require over night stay without the baby just so you can reconnect. DO IT! Yes, it hurts to leave your little one, but a crappy marriage will hurt much worse later on. Be intentional and remember your spouse was part of your life BEFORE your baby was. He needs you too!
Smiles & Kisses - the first time she looks at you and gives you that big, wide open, slobbery mouth kiss will MELT YOUR HEART and you will never be the same. She has learned to express love and that alone is enough "pay" for all of her demands. Her sweet baby smiles and then her intent stare down of your lips as she literally falls onto your face to "kiss" you is the best feeling in the whole world. Cherish it for one day soon her kisses will be quick and no longer intended for your lips.
Prayer Time - changes from God please do _____ and please help ______, to pouring out your heart over your little one's future. We pray every day that she will love God, respect people, respect herself, have a heart of compassion, be quick to forgive, to be filled with grace and gracious words, to be a delight and a good friend, to have a desire for wisdom - to not just do what is right in life, but to do the wise thing. What we desire for her life and pray for has shown me so many areas to work on in my own. Kids do that for you, they make you realize just how flawed you really are. In order for her to learn, we have to be the example. I'm working on many things right now so that one day my actions will speak louder to her than my words.
Milestones - we all know that all babies learn to eat solids, drink from a sippy, clap their hands and crawl - but when YOUR baby does it, you will celebrate it as though no one else in the world has ever done this before. It will be magic, you'll race to video it and coax her to do it again and again until she is worn out.
ME time - dying to myself post baby was the hardest part of all of it. It wasn't the stress on my marriage, or the 3 am wake up calls, the 10th dirty diaper of the day...it was the lack of time for ME! I just wanted to go get a coffee or a manicure by myself- but I couldn't. It took me a good 6 months to die to myself and fully embrace that I will no longer be able to attend every party and social gathering, run out for a last minute girls night out or drop everything and go to a movie with my husband at 9pm. Life has changed and I've finally learned...it's for the better. All of that said though, I still need some "me time" here and there. I'm a better wife and Mom when I get to have that. It's just not as much as it was before I had a baby and honestly that is perfectly okay.
Nurturing - that sweet little one will awaken the most beautiful of feelings in your soul. There are no words to describe its beauty. You want to care for and nurture that little one. Holding, loving, hugging her and caressing her head are moments you live for every day. I can't wait for her to wake up each morning and almost every night I can't help but scoop her little sleeping self out of her bed for one last embrace before I head off to bed. Also, along with the birth of nurturing there's a new beast called "Mama Bear" that is born inside of you and everyone - and I do mean ever single last person on the planet - had better not misstep when it comes to your baby. You will protect at all cost.
You know you're a Mom when - you stumble over toys on your bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Your purse has more baby stuff in it than anything else. Your baby is down for her nap, you turn on the TV while you're folding laundry and it hits you 10 minutes later that you've been mindlessly watching PBS Kids.
Yep, my life looks totally different now than it did a year ago and I've learned so much. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.
Comments
Post a Comment