I Just Can't Wait
Dear Baby Boy,
Your hospital gown with your name monogrammed on it arrived today! It makes me giddy! No one knows your name except your Dad and I. It's our fun little secret. I just keep looking at your hat and gown and fingering the lettering dreaming about holding you in my arms and discussing with your Dad if you look more like him or me when we were babies. We have a month to go until you are due! I personally am hoping that you choose to arrive sooner rather than later because you love to keep your feet stuck in my rib cage and punch me in the hip bone with your fists. I think you're a fighter already and I just thought you'd want to know that we are ready for you. I've been doing this weird thing that pregnant women do, called "nesting", where we clean everything in sight. It's been going on for a few months now and if it can be organized, scrubbed or tossed, it has been. So, I can officially say, we are ready for YOU! But, maybe I should go pack my hospital bag first...
Oh! Your room is ready too! I really hope you like it. I'm not usually a "theme" person, but I did pick a theme for your room. Travel! Boats, cars, planes...I love the theme because travel is something I grew up dreaming about. Something your Dad and I dream about together and we work hard, save our money, plan and dream and then get to put feet on our dreams and travel to fun places around the world together. I guess I want your room to be a reminder to you that you can go anywhere in life that you dream of. It just takes hard work and careful planning to get there. But, don't worry about all of that yet though, Daddy and I will be here to guide you along the way. You've got way more important things to learn first, like eating, sleeping through the night (Charlotte did it at 7 weeks, so no pressure, but HINT HINT), and playing and important stuff like that. =)
Baby boy, this next year is going to be quite a long road for you (and us). I wish with all my heart that I could carry your cleft lip and palate for you. I really do wish it was me and not you, but for some reason God thinks your tough enough to handle it. I have to be honest with you. When I first heard about your challenges, it scared me. It was so unknown to me and I was so uncertain of what our future would hold together. This journey though, has been a beautiful one. I started off fearing the unknown (never fearing you or who YOU are, just the unknowns of how to care for you), wondering why you and why our family and struggling to see God's faithfulness in all of this. Little Man, I am in a totally different place now. God showed up in big ways these last few months just like He always does. You'll see that as you get older and as we get to tell you over and over the early days of YOUR story that God is writing. God has placed so many friends, family members, acquaintances and even strangers in our path to point us in the right direction and fill our hearts with hope and a perfect peace that only God can give. I've gone from a place of wondering why us to feeling completely honored to be your Mom. I am in awe that God hand picked Me, your Dad and Charlotte to love on you for a life time and we are ready! We are ready for YOU and whatever your future holds. Personally, I'm really ready to learn a lot more about you. I'm kind of tired of just knowing about your lip, because YOU are way more than a lip or a surgery. You are a unique individual, with an incredible personality, with a special plan hand picked by God just for your life. You're going to add so much to this family and we'll all wonder how our family ever felt complete without you. I just can't wait to know everything about the little treasure that you are and I can't wait until the day that conversations about your lip and mouth take the back burner and I can talk about the personality and characteristics of my wonderful son!
I love you more than you'll ever know, little man. So come out and meet us already! We can't wait!
Love,
Mommy
Your hospital gown with your name monogrammed on it arrived today! It makes me giddy! No one knows your name except your Dad and I. It's our fun little secret. I just keep looking at your hat and gown and fingering the lettering dreaming about holding you in my arms and discussing with your Dad if you look more like him or me when we were babies. We have a month to go until you are due! I personally am hoping that you choose to arrive sooner rather than later because you love to keep your feet stuck in my rib cage and punch me in the hip bone with your fists. I think you're a fighter already and I just thought you'd want to know that we are ready for you. I've been doing this weird thing that pregnant women do, called "nesting", where we clean everything in sight. It's been going on for a few months now and if it can be organized, scrubbed or tossed, it has been. So, I can officially say, we are ready for YOU! But, maybe I should go pack my hospital bag first...
Oh! Your room is ready too! I really hope you like it. I'm not usually a "theme" person, but I did pick a theme for your room. Travel! Boats, cars, planes...I love the theme because travel is something I grew up dreaming about. Something your Dad and I dream about together and we work hard, save our money, plan and dream and then get to put feet on our dreams and travel to fun places around the world together. I guess I want your room to be a reminder to you that you can go anywhere in life that you dream of. It just takes hard work and careful planning to get there. But, don't worry about all of that yet though, Daddy and I will be here to guide you along the way. You've got way more important things to learn first, like eating, sleeping through the night (Charlotte did it at 7 weeks, so no pressure, but HINT HINT), and playing and important stuff like that. =)
Baby boy, this next year is going to be quite a long road for you (and us). I wish with all my heart that I could carry your cleft lip and palate for you. I really do wish it was me and not you, but for some reason God thinks your tough enough to handle it. I have to be honest with you. When I first heard about your challenges, it scared me. It was so unknown to me and I was so uncertain of what our future would hold together. This journey though, has been a beautiful one. I started off fearing the unknown (never fearing you or who YOU are, just the unknowns of how to care for you), wondering why you and why our family and struggling to see God's faithfulness in all of this. Little Man, I am in a totally different place now. God showed up in big ways these last few months just like He always does. You'll see that as you get older and as we get to tell you over and over the early days of YOUR story that God is writing. God has placed so many friends, family members, acquaintances and even strangers in our path to point us in the right direction and fill our hearts with hope and a perfect peace that only God can give. I've gone from a place of wondering why us to feeling completely honored to be your Mom. I am in awe that God hand picked Me, your Dad and Charlotte to love on you for a life time and we are ready! We are ready for YOU and whatever your future holds. Personally, I'm really ready to learn a lot more about you. I'm kind of tired of just knowing about your lip, because YOU are way more than a lip or a surgery. You are a unique individual, with an incredible personality, with a special plan hand picked by God just for your life. You're going to add so much to this family and we'll all wonder how our family ever felt complete without you. I just can't wait to know everything about the little treasure that you are and I can't wait until the day that conversations about your lip and mouth take the back burner and I can talk about the personality and characteristics of my wonderful son!
I love you more than you'll ever know, little man. So come out and meet us already! We can't wait!
Love,
Mommy
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